When we read some good things written about us, we feel good. Our spirits are high and we just want to keep reading it.
The opposite is dreadful. Just makes you feel worse about yourself. But it's in the worse that we know more about ourselves. Our weaknesses, our frailties. It's when your shield are stripped off, revealing your very nature. It's not just the opportunity to see how people perceive who you are and who you're not. But also an opportunity to see for yourself who you really are and who you're not.
I've done a lot of bad things in the past. Regrettable things for me and for some people. Things that could possibly be the reason why a person would do a way with me. For good. It has been a "BIG bad JOKE" for me.
For this, I say sorry. Sorry to the people I've hurt before. And sorry to myself. I hope these people will forgive me for my faults. I also hope that I will forgive myself for my failures.
Thank you Jun for accepting me and for standing beside me. It has been unfair for you to have to stay with me on my lowest. I'm forever grateful for that. Thanks for the kind words that lift up my spirit back. Thank you for the first forgiveness you have given me when I did not even ask for it.
I did not really understand why im pursuing my Palawan trip even if you're not coming with me. Now I realize, this must be the reason. I would need this time off to rethink things. I'm going back to square one with the hope that when I attempt to step on square two, I'm not stepping on anyone's turf.
Again to show my sincere apologies, please excuse me if i have to mention names. Sorry to Centurion for disappointing you in so many times and ways. Sorry to Andrew for disappointing you too and for being instrumental to your kapariwaraan. Sorry to Mike A. for disappointing you as well when I considered you a friend/bunso. Magpagaling ka noy at wag mo pabayaan sarili mo. Sorry to Pedok and Tsupaeng for whatever fault i have caused you. Stay cheerful guys. Sorry to Jay for being a git when you were just plainly friendly. Dont be afraid to love, cause your doing it for yourself and not for others. Sorry to Str8 and Klasmeyt for being too naive and a disappointment as a fellow iskolar. Guys your acquaintance I've long for even from two years back, manong knows it. Sa iba na hindi ko na ma mention dito, patawad sa mga kakulangan at kapusukan ko, ni big_joke. Sa inyong lahat, salamat sa lahat ng magandang bagay na naibahagi nyo. Kila joms, mark b, marhk santa. tagay at silentboy. Salamat sa lahat. At gaya ng sabi ko dati sa txt, wala na si big_joke. Sana mapatawad nyo ako. At kung hindi man, nagpapaalam ako sa inyo ng maayos.
Gaya ng naibahagi ko kay Lukayo, I still believe that if it can be fixed, it will not be a problem. And if it can't be fixed, it should not be a problem. I'll accept it guys. Thank you and you all have a great life ahead!
- robert
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